This summer flew by. I honestly landed in Ukraine with the feeling that it was going to last forever but it didn't. As sad as I am to leave my family behind, I am even more excited to meet with what's waiting for me this coming year.
I haven't really cried about leaving my family behind although just before I went through customs I couldn't help myself. As I finished in customs and my family waved to me through the glass doors, all the emotion that I had been suppressing these last few weeks started stinging my eyes. A man came up to me just as all this emotion started welling up and asked me if I was carrying more than 10,000 grivnas, special medicine or something that I can't remember. He had to repeat himself twice because I felt so disoriented.
''I have a dental gel for my braces...'' I started but he just smiled and said that it was okay and waved me on my way. Oh yeah, I've got braces now. Horrible things. I got them on Monday and all the psyching-myself-up-for-England went as my teeth started aching and cheeks got sore. It's amazing how emotional braces make you feel when you first get them. All I want to do is curl up in bed with loads of mushy food and watch movies with my family.
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| To eat is pain fo' real. |
But I can't. I have to travel back to England and start my new life properly. The 6 months before summer were only a prelude to what is going to happen this year. This year I start school and well, finish it too. I have a new awesome job that I totally love and feeling of renewed purpose in my head and heart.
This summer has been a summer of deep thinking on my part. I expected it to be a time of being completely surrounded by loads of friends and going to the beach all the time and although that was part of it, I have spent a lot of time in reflection on my faith in God and my walk with Him and my reason for living on this earth.
I have experienced a lot of heartache during these 2 months with the war in Ukraine, the shooting of the Malaysian plane in Donbas and the passing of my best friend's Dad.
Through these things though I have discovered more about God. I have gotten a glimpse of Who He really is through my many, many frustrations with myself, life in general and with other people. People are so difficult. And yet so wonderful at the same time. And God is so good and gracious to us even when we don't deserve it. (This truth is especially ''bright'', as we say in Russian, when He is good to people that we don't think deserve it.)
I should be boarding my plane any minute. My mouth aches, my tummy yearns for a proper meal (all mushed up, of course) and I don't know how to feel about going back to England. Is that my normality? Was this summer in Ukraine my normality? Both feel so normal when I'm there... It's all so confusing.
But I don't want to reflect on my current feelings. I want to reflect on the amazing opportunities that God has put in front of me to prepare me for my future. He has been so good and I feel so unworthy but very thankful.
I am grateful for the reflection God has brought me through during the last couple months. I feel strong in spirit to face this coming year head-on and make the most it as it comes.
(A funny thing today: When I landed in Munich there were more Asians around me than white people. I felt like I had landed in Seoul, which is kinda cool because I'd like to go to Asia (and live there) one day. I'm probably the only freak who would think that an airport filled with Asian people was cool... It made me smile despite my braces which is a big deal so... yeah ^_^)
P.s. Sorry for the weird writing. I was very tired.
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