The few things that I am passionate about

I am a passionate person. But I am also lazy. If my heart is not in something for one reason of another, forget it. I need purpose, focus and motivation to get the things I love done. I am a dreamer, and like all of you I want to do things like learn French and play the bass, but unless I have a reason to do it, I probably won't do it. It's just how it is. 

I'm 18. Most people I know at my age are passionate about something or another. Music, human rights, partying, being controversial to name a few. In me lies a small amount passion for some of these things, but not enough for me to lay my life down for them. I would not cast aside everything sensible and logical to pursue a career in music or run a campaign for womens' rights. I guess I believe in these things but they don't get me right in my heart. They don't give me purpose. 

So what am I passionate about? What gets me motivated and focused? There are few things that get me up in the morning, but these never fail:

1. The Gospel
2. People
3. Missions

I'm not even kidding. There are a lot of things I waste my time on (namely the internet) but nothing in the world makes me go more insanely excited than Jesus and the fact that, not only does He love me, but He wants me to tell others that the same applies to them. 

I am not some extra-holiness-points, perfect-werfect super-Christian. I have recently been very bad at spending time reading my Bible and praying. I sometimes laugh at inappropriate jokes (I am not proud of this, just to clarify), I find Vines of people falling over and hurting themselves very funny and I often spend time in worship on Sundays looking up at the ceiling telling God that I am what a rubbish person I am. (Sorry if that all sounds a bit weird - I'm just trying to be real with you.)

But this is why I am passionate about these 3 things listed above. 

I often feel very unworthy of God's attention and yet somehow He still draws close to my heart and opens doors for me to encourage other people or tell them about His love even on my really bad days. 

"My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness..."

I love the Gospel and its effect on people. The way it changes everything. I love that I can do nothing to convince people that God is real and that He is the one who does that, not me. 

I feel passionate about missions - home and away. This year I am doing an internship at my church as a youth worker. I haven't ever really felt passionate about working with youth specifically, like, I never got a calling from God labelled ''Youth Ministry''. But... I have a passion for people. And youth are people. I love people my age and how weird we all are. How we're working life out and making and breaking conclusions about how we think the world spins. I love that God has put me at my school and in my church's youth team to build up, encourage and pray for people who are the next generation of parents, teachers, leaders and role models. I am part of that rising generation and everything I say to these kids I am also saying to the kid that's me. I am still learning and breaking and making conclusions about how the world spins. How humbling it is to be chosen despite my inexperience and imperfections to serve those struggling with the same things as me...

My mission field right now is Folkestone. I love Folkestone. I am passionate about Folkestone. 

My motivation is the unconditional love God has for me. I want to touch Folkestone with the love that He pours on and through me every day. 

My life has no worth without Jesus. Everything else becomes boring and has me staring out the window after a while. But He will never become boring and the only reason I want to find myself staring out the window is because I'm dreaming about reaching all those lost people out there that need to meet their loving, ever-gracious Saviour.

What are YOU passionate about?

My Last First Day of School

Yesterday was my first day at Pent Valley school. I've joined the 6th-form college there in order to complete two more A-levels. This year I'm doing Russian AS and A2 and a BTEC Health & Social Care. 

I have to say that this arrangement came most unexpected. I have literally entered the school with nothing but a C grade in A-level English Language, so I feel very lucky to have been taken in there. 

Anyway, yesterday was the first day of school for most kids in the country. I marched to school with my packed lunch in my rucksack as fast as I could in order not to be late and potentially embarrass myself. I cuffed me t-shirt sleeves and jeans 'n' all just to look the part. The last time I studied in a state school was year 4 (age 9) and since then I have either been taught in an independent school, homeschooled or been abroad (Ukraine), so to enter a state secondary school is kind of a big deal for me.

I entered the school and approached the reception desk in order to ask for directions. I had only been to the school once for my interview in June, so had no idea where anything was. A teacher stood there and the first thing she asks me is "Are you one of our German transfers?" I was like

What?

Am I that European looking? Not that I'm insulted, but it's funny that the woman didn't even know where I had lived beforehand, didn't even know my surname and assumed I was from the continent. 

Anyway, soon came the dreaded moment of entering the "bistro" (cafeteria). On their register I was listed as "Laura Trokhie". Where did they get that from? How did they know it's my nickname? (Again, not that I mind - "Trokhie" makes everyone's life much easier when it comes to trying to pronouncing my surname, but seriously... how?!)

I entered the bistro. Tables of chattering, hugging and (some) swearing teenagers greeted me as I slipped in through the doors. Some people stared at me funny. Most ignored me. It was like a zoo (no offense intended, but that was the first word that popped into my head as this scene first greeted me). It reminded me oddly of this:

Coming from distance learning, homeschooling and some experience in a Ukrainian school (whose system is polar opposite to England's), this is what entering that school bistro was like. 

At some point after 9:00am, the head, I imagine, of 6th-form addressed the entire bistro with a welcome-back-to-school speech and proceeded to enlighten us on the school's various successes from the previous year and what was expected from us this year. I have never been in an environment where they have had to warn us against drugs, violence and skipping class multiple times. I have always been in a place where that sort of thing is obvious and until something actually happens it remains unsaid, so it was very strange for me to be briefed on such topics, although I imagine it was quite normal and necessary for others. As I stood by that cafeteria door I realised that I had truly entered a different world. 

The rest of the morning (not day because they let me go home at 10:30am) was spent marching round the school with various people trying to find my mentor and putting me on the system (which included spelling out my surname several times, which is "Trokhymenko" in case you didn't know). 

As I waited for someone to find out who my mentor was, I started chatting to an Asian girl called Jana who had also just joined the school. She seemed really nice and I hope we bump into each other again at some point. 

After a bit of running back and forth, I was finally placed in a mentor group with a teacher called Mr. Curtain (I don't if that's how you spell his name, but that's how it sounds) which included about 5 or 6 other students. He also briefed us on appropriate behaviour at school and on what options we had to make the most of our year there. Surprisingly, a lot of the students at PV are like me: turning 19 soon. Apparently loads of them failed their year 13 exams so I don't feel so conscious about being a year or two older than other students. 

I turned a few heads when my mentor asked me what year I was in and replied saying that I would be completing the two A-levels in one year (year 12 and 13). (Honestly though, most other students are doing four subjects and I'm only doing two, so it's not such a big deal.)

After that little gathering I had my photo and fingerprint taken for security reasons (they used a censor and not ink to do my fingerprint - fancy that?!). Whilst waiting in line a guy from my mentor group called Christian entertained me by explaining what kind of a place PV is and trying to trick me into calling the fingerprint guys "Bruce". He also figured out that I was extremely gullible and convinced me that he was fluent in German and had lived there for some of his life. I quickly perceived that he was having me on. 

I have to say that I quite like the school. A-levels aside, just going to the school is a learning curve for me in that I don't really socialize with kids my age from a non-church background. 

I look forward to making friends and touching the lives of people around me. I don't want to just pass through the school and contribute to their statistics. I want to bring the Hope of my life into theirs' and accept them as they are just as God has accepted me. 

It all officially starts next Wednesday, though... Eeeeeeee! (Can you tell I'm the freak kid who loves school?! ;P)